Log in

Presidents Ball 2012

Feb. 22nd, 2012 | 01:05 pm
mood: aggravated aggravated

Link | Leave a comment | Share

Change might be good. or bad....

Feb. 19th, 2012 | 07:42 pm
mood: exhausted exhausted

I was reading through my old, old entries on here and it is absolutely bizarre how different things are now-- not only did I go from a Jaejoong/Junsu bias to a Yunho bias, but I also apparently used to favor JYJ's side which I do not remember at all. I currently support only DB5K but naturally pay a little bit more attention to Homin's side, being a Yunho bias.

I was also so, so, so much more pessimistic. So negative. Not to mention stuck up and uptight, jesus-- was that really me? Did someone hack my LJ or something?

Guys, seriously. So much has happened since I last updated that I can't even talk about it all right now. I'll eventually get the motivation/inspiration to write all of it out... so.... if anyone actually reads this shit, I guess watch for it. lol
Tags: ,

Link | Leave a comment | Share

Writer's Block: Tears of Joy

Feb. 19th, 2012 | 07:27 pm
mood: tired tired
music: Wowowow - SHINee

What was the best day of your life?
It was definitely when I moved out of my house and went to college for the first time. It had been something I dreamed about for years and years and when the day finally came, I was an emotional mess, but that was by no means a bad thing. I love my parents, but their fighting isn't something I can deal with. I can't deal with anger, or tense atmosphere.

Although college has ultimately lived up to all of my expectations, I've not had particularly good luck with roommates. I love my roommate but it seems I want to punch her in the face more and more every day. Our ideals, beliefs, and opinions clash brutally and she always feels the need to tell me how "unrealistic" she believes my opinion or belief is but what she doesn't realize and never will realize is that I don't give a shit.

Link | Leave a comment | Share

(no subject)

Mar. 4th, 2011 | 04:51 pm
mood: annoyed annoyed
music: "Hey Girl" - DBSK

You are a real piece of work, you know that?

You didn't like me from day one-- Because I was quiet and reserved. You took it personally and tried to make me look like a bad guy yet I still tried to be nice to you and friendly to you. I smiled at you in the hall and even helped you get your damn lunch a couple of weeks ago.

Then today, I was having a terrible day to be bluntly honest. The only thing i looked foward to was seeing Isaac at lunch and talking to him. But you had other plans. When I tried to hug him you pushed me and told me no. You rushed to the seat next to him so that I couldn't sit next to him. Then you made sure we weren't near each other after we were done eating, keeping him in the cafeteria while I literally went to the bathroom and just sobbed.

You have a boyfriend. That douchebag Brian Sieve or whatever the fuck his name is -- you even said TODAY that you had plans to "be with him the rest of your life" (which is petty bullshit, by the way. he'll dump your ass just like he did all of the other girls he's dated) so why the hell do you feel the need to ruin the communication between me and Isaac?

Just..whatever, bitch. Fuck you.

Go to hell.
Tags: ,

Link | Leave a comment | Share

Long time no update...

Mar. 1st, 2011 | 06:43 pm
mood: apathetic apathetic
music: "Insa" - Jaejoong

It's been a while hasn't it...

{ u p d a t e - 1 }
Starting Sunday night, I started going into these fits. It starts with a sudden, abrupt feeling of deja vu which then turns into extreme confusion and disorientation. It's a very elusive feeling, one I can't describe at all. But as the confusion dims I become overtaken with this overwhelming bout of nausea and dizziness. Altogether this fit lasts about 15-25 seconds, and once it goes away... it's gone. I feel 100% fine again, and I usually can't well recall the deja vu. This has happened more than a couple of times so I decided to do a little bit of research on it, and the only thing I'm coming to is an "aura" or a petite seizure. I really don't think it's a seizure though. My best friend is Epileptic, so I've done enough research on Ep and seizures to make my eyes bleed. During these fits, regardless of the confusion, I AM fully aware and aware of where I am. I'm pretty sure I can speak, as well. This makes me think it's not a seizure. But I honestly don't know. My parents don't take shit I take seriously, EVER, so I have no way to get this checked out. Because of that, the only thing I can do is hope that it isn't anything serious.

{ u p d a t e - 2 }
I'm accepted into University and recently submitted my on-campus housing applications. So, the ball is finally rolling. Hopefully I'll get my requested roommate. I'm going to be studyin Psychology, and hopefully I continue to love the subject as much as I do now. I'd like to pursue a PhD and become a Psychiatrist later on, but we'll talk about that when that time comes around. Right now, I'm still fighting through the miserable hellhole that is high school.

{ u p d a t e - 3 }
Home life is getting less and less tolerable by the day. There are times when I want to pitch a tent in the yard and sleep there instead. My mom is a fucking psycho and my dad is a bipolar alcoholic. I get suicidal thoughts regularly but I'm not dumb enough to act on them. Sometimes I just wonder what it'd be like to be able to kill yourself and be guaranteed a second chance in a new life, new place. Somewhere where you can live without this bullshit and be free of judgements and bitches screaming in your face on a regular basis...

- - - -

I guess that's all... considering I haven't updated in months, I didn't have much to say. My life is basically lather rinse repeat, the same bullshit over and over... never much to update with.

Link | Leave a comment | Share

(no subject)

Dec. 10th, 2010 | 05:14 pm
mood: indescribable
music: "Monster" - Super Junior

This week has been overwhelmingly terrible. I don't even know where to start. It has basically just been one thing after the other, each day getting worse and worse- More and more down taking. I've been absolutely dead minded today, the contant unlucky events destroying my sanity to a point where I had nightmares last night of Jaejoong being tortured to death. I woke up in a cold sweat, crying, and with the most overwhelming and blinding headache ever. At that moment I decided I couldn't do school today, so I laid back down and waited for myself to calm down and went back to sleep.

I've been threatened too many times this week. My grades are slipping and I've been becoming so empty that any emotion and sympathy for anyone else I had is gone. I don't even feel safe to walk into that public education building anymore, and I've never wanted so badly to drop out of school.

I can't even go into all the things that have happened. It's so much that it has all basically morphed together into one big pile of bullshit. I don't even know what to do anymore.
Tags: ,

Link | Leave a comment | Share

» Braces off! + Updates

Oct. 20th, 2010 | 07:18 am
mood: anxious anxious
music: "9096" - Tohoshinki

I've gotten my braces off. ;u; I'm so happy, man. It feels so much better, and I can eat apples now! Ace!
I got my Senior portraits taken a few days after, and they turned out brilliantly. It was very cool to be a model for a photographer, and I almost think I might rather enjoy modeling as a hobby. We'll see where this goes.~

My application has been submitted to Eastern, and hopefully I'll be accepted. I'll be going to University in fall next year, and words couldn't describe how stoked I am- Life with my parents has been rewarding in some ways, but in a lot of ways it's been the worst thing. Living with an alcoholic and a selfish, biased woman isn't fun in the least. I'll be so glad to finally have independence and not have to worry about being judged for things I like and love to do.

I'm getting a new laptop for chrimbo, thank jeevs. This Dell is hardly a year old and yet it has crashed twice and is just overall a piece of metaphorical shit. It's not reliable, and I'm really tired of losing all of my files. :< I'm never buying Dell again. This is the second Dell laptop i've owned and they have both been terrible.  

On another note, our whole house is decorated for Christmas. The tree is still a work in progress, we'll be buying tinsel and icesicles to decor it with soon, and the ornaments will follow shortly after! The whole house smells of pine and cinnamon, and it's just amazing. I love the chrimbo atmosphere. ♥

Well, I guess that wraps up everything going on right now- Have a great holiday everyone!

Love, Kass.

Link | Leave a comment | Share

(no subject)

Sep. 18th, 2010 | 12:00 pm
mood: blah blah
music: "HEY!" - DBSK

Since It's been a little while since I updated, I think I shall do so now.

So first of all my journal got revamped, LOVE the head image but the entries seem kind of messy now which is bothering me so I may change up a little.

I dropped that damn god forsakened math class and replaced it with a Humanities class that I found out I needed to graduate lolz. So, no more of that incredibly stressful math for me! (It was seriously demotivating me to do ANYTHING)

I'm getting my season-change allergies so headaches, runny/stuffy nose and watery eyes are my best friends right now. Yayyy, Hopefully it dies off soon. :| 

Art wise, I'm kind of starting to miss digital art. So a new tablet is definitely on my list of investments. Realism is to difficult in the digital medium (much different than traditional standards) so I'm not sure what type of style I'll be doing- Probably illustration since I've gotten a bit more into reading recently and it would be so nice to draw out some of the awesome parts of books/fanfictions I read. <3

On a completely unrelated note, I'm currently pissed off at the fact that I can't just up and fly to Thailand right now.. JYJ Fanmeet/show in Bangkok on 15 October and I am in such a slump that I cannot go.

One day, one day.

Link | Leave a comment | Share

Writer's Block: My Personal Concert

Sep. 10th, 2010 | 11:18 pm
mood: exhausted exhausted
music: "Crazy Love" - DBSK

If you could have any musician or band play live - just for you and your friends - who would you pick?

JYJ (or all the members of TVXQ, if it would be possible) for definite.

Link | Leave a comment | Share

a scream & a half

Sep. 10th, 2010 | 04:59 pm
mood: cheerful cheerful

TGIF, Like for SRS, this has been the slowest week. But now I shall begin my awesome weekend of sketching random unsuspecting people, going to the movies with my two favorite asian boys and a few others (to see Vampires Suck, lulz), and eating titanic burgers! |D

In a less light note I have a Trig test thursday that I will most definitely fail. I have been so lost this unit homigawd. >_>

But yeah that's about it, for nowww.

bai baiiii chicos and chicas

Link | Leave a comment | Share